Some journalist once suggested that I might one day write in English. Today is that day.
I first want to mention that I'm not very good at writing English. At school I always passed the tests just by luck.
This is my story.
Sometimes I feel like I'm lonely. This isn't true. For many years I've had good friends who can help me when I need it. But I still feel alone.
Today I walked to the store. It was a beautiful day and it was snowing. The sun was setting. But suddenly everything felt bad. I thought, why am I here? What am I supposed to do? And I thought, what is even the purpose of my life?
When I'm by myself I feel lost more often. And when I'm just hanging out with my friends I feel like everything is okay.
I miss America. Sometimes it just feels like my heart is broken. My home is here but also there. I have two homes and two families. I should be happy, why am I not?
When you have depression and after you recover, you have to do a lot of work with yourself. Your emotions. And your thoughts. It's not easy.
I do work on my mind every day. Why do I think I'm no good? Why do I think I'm not enough?
Because everyday I should remember I'm enough.
You have to believe in yourself. You can go as far as you want to. Believe in your dreams. Believe that they can become true. And always be your own determined self.
Oon jo hetken salaa haaveillu, et voisin kirjoittaa jotain enkuksi tänne blogiin. Kiitos Jaakolle, joka teki mun väsäelmästä ehyen ja kokonaisen. Ehkä joku päivä pystyn tähän vielä yksin, mut sen aika ei oo vielä.